spiraling love

aloha
i have been in my cocoon in the gentle and itchy jungle of hawaii
where i turned to liquid
just like a caterpillar does
in the soup of my dreams, my naps, my hibernation
i learnt a thing or two about myself
the beliefs i carry around with me
in my mind and in my body
these beliefs
turn into patterns, habits, addictions, rashes, mood swings
road blocks
in my last week at kalani
i was in huna healing class
with stewart blackburn
the theme of the class was
changing change
he had us break into small groups of four or five people
we were to pick a divination tool to use
either a deck of tarot cards or a set of shaman stones
the group i was in choose to use shaman stones
seven glass stones all a different colour
you throw the stones
each colour has two meanings
the white stone is the home stone or the question
the other stones relate to the home/question stone depending on their proximity to it

we were a happy group
four giggly and eager diviners
ready to read each others fortunes
i was a little nervous
how will i know what to say?
we each took a turn throwing the stones and then deciphering the messages for each other
the best part was that stewart had given us the authority to change the layout
move the stones or pick another card
if we didn't like the answer we got
change it
change the divination
change change
this was liberating, exciting, and profound
we are major players in the game
in this game of life
we can call the shots
we create the world we live in

something very profound that i received from my fellow diviners
is the knowledge that my power, my charisma, my strength
is my vulnerability
to say i don't know something is refreshing
and gives me the opportunity to learn and to open wider
for so much of my life i have been scared to ask questions
for fear of looking stupid
i have believed that i was suppose to know everything
how on earth can you know everything
and why would you want to know everything
it is so awesome to learn
to ask questions
to show your vulnerability
i feel freer now
free to say i don't know how to do that
i am just beginning
i am new to this

a full time free spirit

i am being true to my given name

dustieboots

i have embarked on a year long adventure

taking me to corners of the earth that i have not walked on before

my boots have been longing to be dusty

i am riding on my purpose

here to celebrate my life and all life that flourishes around me

we need not look further than the tree outside to find beauty

funny i should say that when i am about to bounce

destination......

hamilton

sacred fire at six nations

fergus

whole village

toronto

montreal

dwight

banff

nelson

vancouver

san fransisco

california

grand canyon

new mexico

hopi territory

cherokee territory

hawaii

and from there..........?

back again across the country.....heading east, north

to you and back again

i am looking out a window in the ottawa airport

i just spent a wonderful couple days with my grandmother

elizabeth reine bell daughter of elizabeth adelia burt

sacred moments with my clan mother

we went to the art gallery

and our minds were blown

"sky's the limit" my grandmother said to me

"you can create anything you want

use your imagination and all that stuff in your storage unit!"

the divine all around

her alignment with nature is powerful

she has taught me many useful manners

i could have tea with the queen

her greatest lessons are the ones that connect me to nature

she honours plants birds dirt earth trees water reptiles mammals fish life

in spiritual and powerful ways

if she heard me say this she would laugh

and get shy

insisting that it is ordinary

her gratitude and the honour she shows the planet is not ordinary

it comes naturally

that is where she spends her time

in the garden

where spirit walks softly

thank you grandma

for sending me off

to invent my life

to create my art

and to honour the planet

i love you

meet me in the garden

on august 12 2009
HOPE community garden
rocked us and cradled us
as we let the stories fly
the drums beat
the paint brushes blend
and the hearts meet




at four o'clock the circle began to form
the drums were the first to arrive
the alter in the center
by the fire was second
the food was third
the technical staff were fourth
the dogs and children were fifth
home sweet home
people in parks
this is were we do business
community building
learning teaching eating meeting weaving threading listening caring sharing hearing playing swinging gardening and being heard
gentle and sweet
roaring and celebrating what is
precious in this world
supported by the plant beings
called together by the ancestors
we were 50 people strong
at least and growing
people joining us
the movement of a park
the safety of a circle
the call of the drum



downtown toronto
the rainbow of faces
the union of ages
the four colours represented
shades and tones in every colour
the four directions represented
how many languages
the universal languages of art and music
the universal language of the circle and stone





woven together by stories
supported in the web of spider
the medicine of a park
has the power to heal a city
trees plants people animals united in green and free to sit on a bench and dream
blue sky over head and clouds telling about the things they have seen







This was the first time I felt the confidence to smudge!
Can you believe it?
The circle was so large and here I was smudging the entire bunch!
Never before had I smudged at a circle.
In this I was supported by ancestors and spirits.
They suggested I do it.
and I did it.
and it was good.
what a wonderful idea.
I was safe and it made us safe.
bound us together and cleared the space for magic.
Everyone had the floor.
All voices were heard.
I was impressed.
We went around the entire circle
and we were all present.
we listened to each other.
we played together.
we told each other our secrets.







this took a year.
We have been weaving a web
and building a community and making a safe space for stories to blossom.
and a place for people to meet.
The question we ask is,
"What is your connection land?"
This circle in the park answers this question in a bold and clear way.
this is our home.




We are a intricate part in all ecosystems. This is our sacred family.
We are trees. We are plants.
We are soil. We are bugs.
We are land.
We are reflected in all.
Our bones are the land.
our water is pulled on by the moon. our breath sounds like the crashing waves and whispering wind in leaves.
that's why we like to sit in parks
and garden together.


that's why we long for the great outdoors.
That's why we want to share stories about the lands we come from.
we are the land
we are the stars
this makes us cosmic beings.
this makes us nature.
this means we are NOT money making wage slaves tax paying
planet stomping suit wearing zombies
we are life
we are 14 billion years of evolution
we are the awakened universe
we are self reflective consciousness
web at dawn
came upon a web that was made during the drumming and the painting
signs of spider are alive everywhere
she calls to me
loud are clear
building her web on my bike
sliding down the wall behind me
making her webs in the corners I sweep. I leave her home and feel safe.




thank you hope garden
thank you friends
the feeling in the morning was one of new clear energy
love warmth creativity
the best the two legged beings have to offer
go to the parks
bring a drum
bring a blanket
make the parks safe for creation and fun
this is our home
this is our place of business
hold a circle
pass a stone
and have some fun
thank you for tolerating my erratic period and punctuation!

weaving webs on wednesdays

i love this process!
may I share a secret?
my heart is a flutter.
I absolutely love this project.
I want to make art with the community.
all our voices will be heard.
all of our ideas will have an integral part in the finished project.
spider allowed us a glimpse of the web on Wednesday Sept 23rd.
Five of us watched, listened, shared, and worked.
we woven and we woven.
and it is going to work!
I am so excited for web that we are weaving.
We came up with wonderful ideas for the installation, for the film and for the process.
spider medicine is alive and well.
her web holds us up and supports our stories.
layer upon layer
each thread woven fine and intricate
the year has been a wild woven ride
and this next one predicts to be all about the detail and gentle stitches.
Thank you in the ancestors that support us and guide us.

the eye of the storm

....meet me in the garden

where spirit walks softly....
-drew dellinger
from the poem angels and ancestors

we are in crisis
whether the sun is shining or the rain is falling
the planet
is in drought
the oceans are rising
species are going extinct
at a crazy fast rate
people are kept busy and broke
time and money dictate our lives
we are out of touch with our own quiet voice
that's why we meet in the garden
and sit face to face in a circle
and we listen
on July 22 2009 we sat in HOPE garden and listened
we were the quiet in an ocean of noise
people were in motion
in and out of the circle
i call this our haywire circle
a tablesaw to the west
a tablesaw to the east
fire engines and sirens screaming hell fire a block away
helicopters sending in the distractions
i have been warned about you
dogs yelling
the circle was situated too close to the picnic table
mini burgers and carrot sticks were a hot commodity
Brianna told a story about finding the quiet in the midst of chaos
just as she spoke those words
the sirens were screaming
i started to compare this circle to the last
but this circle spoke of miracles
you and me
a grandmother's dreams about fish
that predict the birth of her grandchildren
miracles
this circle was the reminder that we are the anchor
in this time of fracture
in this time of disconnection
we are the quiet
be the quiet
in the storm that is raging around us
be the peace

arm in arm
shoulder to shoulder
knee to knee
in a circle we find peace
in a circle we find relief
join us in august to celebrate this shape
and celebrate art
and celebrate our stories
and celebrate the drum
quiet in numbers

paradigm shift

this was a moment of alignment
shawn setting audio and mics up at 4 pm
kai'enne and I arrived with food at 4:30pm
circle starts at five pm
i have no idea how many people are coming to the first circle in the garden
12, 15, 18, 20
people begin arriving
norman perrin storyteller extraordinaire arrives first
the sketch crowd shows up like a parade
bikes, dogs, pasta salad, voices, and spirit
we mix and mingle
snack on food
sue cohen and the gardeners from the sketch garden project
honour the circle with their first head of broccoli!
we all ate a piece and shared in the bounty of HOPE community garden
people are still arriving
we begin to form our circle at 5:30
there are about 18 of us filling out the circle
just as we begin to introduce the project and structure of the circle
POR AMOR with their youth from East Scarborough
march across the park towards
coming from the south 14 people strong
beautiful faces lit up with expectations, stories, poems, and fun
they traveled a long ways on the TTC to join the circle
a journey from the east and the north to the south and west
feet, bus, train, bus, feet
and back again.
braved it to the city
we make our circle bigger
30 people strong
spider medicine
microphones
new faces
old faces
we pass the spider stone and we introduce ourselves
we then stand up and play a game of passing a stone and clapping our hands
connecting ourselves and creating the circle
norman then graces us with his magical storytelling talents
he takes us around the world and back again
thailand, africa, canada, armenia, spiral garden, africa, thailand, india, canada
norman charmed us and filled us with the power to tell stories of our own
with his flutes and his spiralling way with words
he let stories tap him on the shoulder and demand that they be told
our circle was a feast
rich like dark chocolate and mountains of gold
but better and more life sustaining
like a heaping bowl of brown rice and steamed greens
kai'enne sang us a song of epic proportions
she tamed us and made wild with her harmonies and poetics
stories came to us from somalia through the centuries
stories about feathers and dreams, yellow birds and dancing lions, gurus and wise children
the drum was introduced
ten djembes from the back of tanika's car
women leading the circle and singing about community love
two gentlemen couldn't wrap their minds around this
their egos fighting the female heartbeat
claiming there was a power struggle in the circle
woman can't teach the drum
you need a drum chief one of them claimed....I'm a drum chief...get yourself a drum chief
the shifting paradigm
welcome to the new world order
Community Love
growing gardens, growing community
nourishing and nurturing
don't get me wrong the circle was supported and strong with quiet male energy
but we did witness full on the anger and fear of the male ego
because he wasn't in the driver's seat
both of these people stumbled upon the circle and joined in and tried to control the flow
but we were there to listen and to share
not to be dictated too or preached too
the paradigm shift is happening in your parks and out your front door
we are sitting in circle and we are linking arms and tales and tails
and we are growing strong through spider medicine
through community love
with food
with stories
with song
with drums
with flutes
with you
with me

a walk in the park with Andrew McMartin from the PINE project

on june 29 eight of us walked in high park
spending time with our beloved
the earth
we braved the thunder and the rain
and we found ourselves in a fragrant green alive sanctuary
we thanked ourselves for taking ourselves from the couch to garden
We made music with Japanese knotweed
wind pipes
we stung ourselves with stinging nettle and cured the sting with burdock
they grow side by side
nature is so smart
sting nettle has a bad rap
it is delicious in omelets...be sure to blanch it before eating
drop the leaves in boiling water to take away the stingers
it makes a great tea
it can sooth your aching arthritis
it can do more
i am still learning
we tasted burdock
too bitter for most
but the baby loved it
she hasn't been spoiled by sugar
we counted ten baby wood ducks
so small and light they could sit on lily pads
a swan wanted bread
a swan on her nest
we hope her eggs are still incubating
we were shown a secret redwood tree growing by the pond
brought here from the west
watch out!
loads of poison ivy in the park
but growing right next door is jewel weed
the antidote
nature is so smart
evolved
before eating anything in the park make sure you can identify the plant in three ways
by the leaves
the shape of the stock
the way the leaves grow out of the stock
the veins in the leaves
the flowers! this can be the best way to identify a plant
be aware many plants have a twin that often aren't edible
there are walks like these happening in the park
take advantage of the fun
and take yourself for a walk
spend time with your beloved
fall in love
you are a genius at falling in love
for more nature love check out
http://www.pineproject.org/
http://www.highpark.org/nature.htm

time space foam

this past weekend was pride in toronto
queer pride
I was at a conference
a man named Brian Swimme was giving a talk
friday night and saturday until 6 pm
I was a little disappointed that I had agreed to go
I was missing out on the beer garden and roller derby halftime show
my girl was wearing short shorts, tall socks and getting sweaty
I was the av girl in a dark auditorium at u of t
but I agreed to go
Ed O'Sullivan thought it was a good idea that I be there
and if Ed or Eimear or Jeannette or Leslie
think it is a good idea
I tend to listen
I have been blessed with mentors
abundant
mentors awakened
and in this dark auditorium in downtown toronto
I was once again in the right spot at the right time
pride
evolution
i was given the language to the knowledge that I already possess in my bones and blood
i have always known the truth
i just didn't know the words in english
i wasn't taught in grade 8 that science is our entry point into the divine
i dropped biology as soon as possible
memory games and facts left me bored and depressed
we really are made of star dust
the hydrogen that was created during the first star that exploded to make our universe is in us
cosmology
we are 15 billion years of knowledge in the making
we are the evolution of a being in process
on monday i woke to the words
"frothing forth" running through my mind
this is a scientific term to describe life becoming in our universe
life is constantly frothing forth
frothing forth frothing forth frothing forth
on tuesday i woke up with clear insight into the depth of this process
in all of our backyards and all of our composts life is frothing forth
in each second life evolves and multiples
my head was filled with the balance of a rainbow burst forth from a garden and the darkness that is our universe....the void...the quiet...the abundant
this is who we are
on wednesday i woke up with the words
"planetize the movement" running through my head
this is a quote from Martin Luther King
brought to me through the poetry of drew dellinger
this morning
July 9th I woke up sobbing
I was weeping for the mass extinction of species
the holocaust
the genocide
20,000 species go extinct each year
this is our doing
humans have become a geological force
this will still be big news in 5 million years
waking up is hard to do
be the change
it won't be easy
you will have to stick to the hard road
but at least if your grand kids asked you what you did
you can say
you ran in the streets and yelled fire
you changed your way of speaking
from resource to relative
from resource to source
from animal to friend to brother to sister
from plant to grandmother
from sun to grandfather
from moon to grandmother
we are all related
give thanks have gratitude
thank yourself
love yourself
have patience

High Park Discovery walk with Andrew McMartin

Next Spoonful Gathering
High Park Discovery Walk
Monday June 29th
6 pm until dark
meet at the High Park Subway Stop
High Park Ave Exit

find out secrets of the park
natural dyes
edibles
medicines
tools
animal tracks
life in the city

there is a lot more to the story

stories and art
reconnecting with land and each other
this is how we will find our way through the pain
stories and art saved my life
stories and art taught me how to be
stories and art changed me
this is what the fourteenth circle was all about
we also touched on death, being indigenous, ancestors, connection to place,
memory, the guilt that we carry through our ancestors, the longing for connection to land,
patterns in history and cultures.....you will find the truth in the patterns.
patterns don't lie
it is wonderful to sit in circle and have the space to discuss these kinds of things.
it is inspiring and invigorating to make a film with people
this is what I love....collaboration, teamwork, and brainstorming
fitting our stories together
finding the thread that weaves our stories side by side
this is how we are going to make it through the next few years
through the awakening
through the crisis

together

with compassion in one hand and insight into our radical interdependence with all phenomena in the other hand
these are our tools
I would also like laughter, creativity, innovation, and courage in my toolbox
we are in training
body mind and spirit
hear the call
begin to exit and open your eyes
join the movement for life
for change
for love
for light
you are powerful
you are divine
hear the call
answer the call

finding the threads

we are hanging by a frail thread
all life is threatened
we are here in the future
where we drink water full of pesticides, pharmaceuticals, and jet fuel
our food is engineered and we are distracted to the point of exhaustion
we have created hell on earth.
it is our creation
and we can unmake it.
this is good news
the other good news is that we are here together
with each circle that we hold I become aware of the importance of sharing our stories
sharing our dreams
facing our pain together
creating art and beauty together
speaking from our hearts
loving ourselves
finding joy and success in the simplest actions
taking action
it is time to share our dreams and sounds
we are in the beginning
and in the beginning there was darkness
the first creation was sound
make some noise
and listen
this is scary for me
my voice is scary to me
will it crack, will it go off key, will they laugh at my tone and tonelessness?
i know that I will feel stronger if I start to use my voice
this comes at the same time that I am learning to be a more attentive listener
funny how that happens
two sides of the same coin
listening and sounding
both are hard and both are calling
a spoonful of honey grows with each week.
the film and installation are finding their shape
we are finding the thread that weaves through all our stories
we share
we will begin in darkness and end in darkness
the power of art to make change and give voice to the people
is empowering and exciting
join the circle
listen to your elders
listen to yourself

the truth about youth

Thank you all who joined us last night in the park and at Charles Street Video.
It was an evening of spinning webs.
grounded and supported by water and earth.
We sat in circle in Trinity Bellwoods park with Garrison creek rushing underneath.
Hidden in a concrete pipe but still flowing with life and light.
We were a group of young people joined for a quick 20 minutes by Ron Cook.
He was on his way to laughtercize. He is in a class with seven women.
In his words....
"I guess men don't know how to cry and men don't know how to laugh!" He is the change.
He spoke about the strength and creativity of the young people today.
The ones who have returned and are returning to the planet to help human life elevate and enlighten at this crucial hour.

The wisdom that was in the circle last night was humbling and courageous.
It was strength and creativity in action.
The circle of youth was a circle of love and respect for all our relations.

The youth are awake.
we are awake. we are living the change. being change.

It you have a question ask a young person.
They will have an answer.
the younger you go the more honest your answer.

after this calming and invigorating circle in the park we moved to Charles street video,
where we watched ourselves clown around and embrace the structure of clowning.
I have to say that it is awesome to sit with people and watch footage together.
To pick out great moments and begin to build the film.
My great fear is that it is boring...perhaps it is a bit boring but it mainly it is fun.
It is action. It is the process.
and this is what I love.
the snacks are good too!
our film is taking shape.
It's just a baby.
we have a year and more to nurture it, build it, weave it, and blow life into it.
in art and love
we are rich and wild
chi meegwitch
a spoonful of honey

pollination for the nation hat weekend

garden hat with leslie, justyna, and hazel
butterflies, hands, and hat
bat hat with amiee
kai'enne, hairdryer, and hat
bat

detail of spoonful of collage

next circle june third

circle number 13
June 3, 2009
6 pm to 9 pm
meet in Trinity Bellwoods at the front gates
790 Queen Street West at 6 pm
map:

http://maps.google.ca/maps?oe=utf-8&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a&q=790+Queen+St+W,+Toronto,+ON&um=1&ie=UTF-8&split=0&gl=ca&ei=6zQMSvTjLJC6M-nN9MUG&sa=X&oi=geocode_result&ct=title&resnum=1

6 to 7 in the park to open the circle with spider rock
7 to 9 at Charles Street Video 65 Bellwoods ave ( we will walk there together)

open lines of communication

the twelfth spoonful of honey was an incredible circle
We welcomed seven new participants to this twelfth circle
it has taken me a while to write about it
I have been basking in it
I was off my game on the day
I forgot a few things
Minidv tapes, codes for doors, and fire for the candle
It was a gorgeous summer day
One of our first and I suspected that people would want to stay in the park
or maybe i wanted to stay in the park?
We passed the spider stone around the circle
it went around real quick
We were all in quiet moods
words were in high demand
We all spoke about our bikes!
I thought to myself…. “what will we do if we stay in the park? No one is talking.”

I ended up asking many questions.
What are the symbols of the film?
What form will the film take?
What is this project about?
How will we represent truth, respect, love, humour, play, community, all our relations in a film, on a gallery wall, on a street corner, in our circle, or in our lives?
How do I smudge?
The answers came for my elder sisters.
The answers brought more questions.

How do you smudge?
How do you want to bring it to the circle and how do we want to smudge together?
We will do it in our own way.
It is not about how it in done out there in the world or in other cultures and ceremonies.
This is how we do it…to cleanse and support our circle and our light.

Watch the footage!
This is how we will find the film and the symbols.
in the footage.
The magic moments will appear to us all as we watch and discuss.

So we had a snack and we packed up our stuff and we made our way to
Charles Street Video where we watched 20 minutes of footage together.
At Charles street our group grew from 8 to 11.
We watched footage from January 26 2009
We heard a story about a cruel and sad father and a story called
Little me the mouse....About dreams coming true through hard work, faith, and selflessness.
Both stories featured relationships with parents.
The discussion that followed was alive and fecund.
The project felt like a spring garden after heavy rains.
The growth was wild and abundant.
Magic was in the air.

This project is based on the medicine wheel.
We are making a circular film and installation.
The timeline is a circle and our movement is a figure 8.
Inhale exhale
Masculine feminine
Individual community
Life death
Sun moon
The cross from right brain to left brain
right side to left side
East south west north
Red yellow black white
Earth air water fire
Spring summer fall winter
Morning noon evening night
Spiritual emotional physical mental
Protection nourishment growth wholeness
child youth adult elder
Seed sprout tree pine cone
Planets rotating
Bicycle wheels

We are blessed with showing up at the same time to share these ideas
The circle was blessed to receive The One Page Bible by Alexander Braun
www.theuniverse.name
This bible outlined all of these ideas
Synchronicity is beautiful
Thank you for the great discussion
And the beautiful symbols and drawings that were added to our living circle timeline.
Laughter before all
Play is the goal

next circle may 20

A Spoonful of Honey is Brought to you by the number 12, spider magic, water, circles, and rogue bees

circle number 12
may 20, 2009
6 pm to 9 pm
meet in Trinity Bellwoods at the front gates
790 Queen Street West at 6 pm
map:

http://maps.google.ca/maps?oe=utf-8&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a&q=790+Queen+St+W,+Toronto,+ON&um=1&ie=UTF-8&split=0&gl=ca&ei=6zQMSvTjLJC6M-nN9MUG&sa=X&oi=geocode_result&ct=title&resnum=1

6 to 7 in the park to open the circle with spider rock
7 to 9 at Charles Street Video ( we will walk there together)

• watch footage

• watch the stop motion film we made last week

• talk structure and story line

• circle time line fun time exercise

• eat cookies and drink tea

I am looking forward to sitting in circle with you in the park
These days are good days when the rain brings the green
the green brings oxygen
and the rogue bees are our mentors
loving us up
see you may 20 th in the park

pollination for the nation

calling all visual artist
we will be making stop motion painted and any medium foam baseball caps
theme is pollination
may 22, 23, and 24
from 9 am to 7 pm
we are looking for artists to decorate caps and camera operators
email me to sign up or call 416-885-7934
attached is a sample of what the hats will look like
this is a fundraiser for a spoonful of honey
and it is a celebration of pollination
be a pollinator

next circle

next circle is on may 20th at Charles Street Video
we will watch footage together and continue this process
bring you brains and bring your storms
you are the movement towards peaceful and creative living
you are the light and you are the energy

all doors open 11 11 spider medicine

at eleven eleven on may sixth in my kitchen a spider came to say hello
we had just wrapped up the eleventh circle
eleven being spider's number
the number of mastery....on our way
the number eleven says all doors are open
we made a stop motion film together
eight of us were present in human form
one in feline
and i am not sure how many in spirit
the room was full and all the doors and windows were wide open
we talked about the making of the film and what land means to each of us
what does land mean to you?
what is your connection to land?
the youthful humans said they were land.
they come from it and they will return.
I feel the same. yet I am still processing.
we listened to Mandaza an elder from Zimbabwe
he took us on a journey and we listened and brainstormed about how to animate his words.
perhaps we will open the film with his words on peace and love.
Ron Cook suggested this....open it like star trek....to go where no one has gone before...

this is a new process for me
we are embarking on a community made film....to go where no one has gone before...
I wonder what the process is
what is this project about?
where is it taking us?
why?
and then I remember that we are part of the movement towards peaceful living.
we are one of the points in the web.
from that point of light we spiral out and form many more points in the web
we have joined the movement of humans working towards peaceful living
we are optimistic, enthusiastic, we say yes, we will participate
we garden, we make art, we make music, we make food, we grow food, we listen, we play, we work, we sleep, we love, we are, we drink water, we laugh, we try our best