first edit

Kai'enne and I just finished our first session of watching and editing some of the circles together! The session ended but the short film will be pulled together on Sunday.
It is wonderful to return to the circles and be reminded of what has been shared.
Have I mentioned how much I like circles?
So much truth, heart, emotion, vulnerability, openness, similarities.
I am reminded that we are a collective.
Our dreams, our thoughts, our feelings are shared.
We are constantly moving towards oneness.

To paraphrase Wahu Kaara
To begin our soul search we must exit.
We must exit to begin.
Exit the noise and go within.

into your cave.
into your dreamtime.
the void is welcoming.
my dreamtime is calling.
morning is too close.
grant writing is the task at hand.
tie me to my chair.
limit my trips to the kitchen.
snack time?

winter love

you don't have to be sagittarius to read this.

dream time, darkness, winter, meditation, gestation, slow boat, turtle's pace, sitting in circle, quiet soft steps, zoning out, playtime, deep tunnels and burrows under the earth, cozy caves and flannel sheets....bring them on and let nap time begin. We still have some time before the crocus pokes it head out of the earth. Embrace these darker days, honour your hibernation, and continue to recharge your spirit in the quiet of your cave.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): "Everything is gestation and then
bringing forth," wrote poet Rainer Maria Rilke in his book
*Letters to a young Poet.*

"To let each impression and each germ of feeling come to
completion wholly in itself, in the dark, in the inexpressible, the
unconscious, beyond the reach of one's own intelligence, and await with
deep humility and patience the birth-hour of a new clarity: that alone is
living the artist's life."

I think it's also the approach you should take in the
coming weeks, Sagittarius, even if you're not an artist. As smart as you
are, there's an even greater intelligence working discreetly within you that
is more slyly brilliant and lushly visionary than your conscious mind. You
owe it to your future to let it do its work.
-free will astrology Rob Brezsny http://FreeWillAstrology.com

Thank you rob for your weekly love letters. They see me through and hold me up.

if you are patient this is what is coming....

mama d in the house

Seeing yourself in Others - The Heart of Love
the sixth circle
a spoonful of honey

We had a jam session song sharing circle.
Awesome is a word that comes to mind.
Wow! is another.

I had a crisis today.
I was worried that no one would show up for the circle.
I was worried that I needed more structure in the circle.
I was worried that we hadn't made art and I was letting people down.
I was worried that I wasn't moving fast enough.

How fast do I have to move?
Earth pace? Turtle pace? race car?
When I move faster than I am comfortable....Nothing good comes of it.

We spoke about being in the now.
The only place you are suppose to be.
I have to remind myself of this every day.
I am here and it is the right place for me in this moment.
I am not late. I'm right on time.
I am aligning myself with cosmic time so that I may run in to you by chance
by the oranges at food 4 life.
I will see you then and we will call it a coincidence.
It's synchronicity and we are on time no matter how late we are running.

We spoke about love
we spoke about being present
we sang
we smudged
We had a beautiful circle of eight joined by a ninth half way through.

I am guessing we spanned the ages of 10 to 75.
Many bloodlines came to meet in the middle of the circle.
We had endless stories and similar experiences to swap and share.
Learning that we all wag fingers at ourselves.
And bully ourselves into moving faster and ignoring our intuitions.
We are more similar than different.

refreshing and invigorating
circles are the best
drums are the heartbeat
and we are light

ShoutOuts:

Thank you Mama D for joining the circle and sharing your thoughts on ands and buts.
Thank you for your poetry of resistance.
Your wisdom, grace, and powerful voice!

wow!
the drums came out
Larry's box of rattles, tambourines, wooden fish, bananas, eggs, hand drums, flutes, and more
instruments of mass percussion ....to quote Larry
Thank you for sharing your toys and your heartbeat.

Thank you Biljana for the music, the dancing and the smudging.

Justin thank you for your patience, your amazing drumming, and for making this a truly intergenetrational storytelling circle.

Kai'enne mind blowing, consciousness raising, astounding soul music poetry.
Thank You!

Justyna thank you for your presence, drumming, energy at the end of a long day.
Thank you for meeting the youth who didn't show.
We missed your presence. We will see you next time.

Ronnie thank you for holding the circle and supporting intergenerational storytelling.
You and the fish made beautiful music.

Thank Morris for wandering in off the street, taking photos and broadening and growing this circle in a very intergenerational, multimedia, multicultural way! Wahoo!
Beautiful photos were taken.

Thank you to Gabi and Andy for sharing the Red Pepper Spectacle Arts Community Centre!
This is the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Perhaps we have found a home for the circle.
We were blessed with the presence of all our spirit animals.
All our relations surrounded us and held the circle for us.

Thank you hazel for filming, being brave, and showing up. Trusting in the love of others.

i went to the so wrong church

hazel!!!!!!!!!!

so broken hearted...

i just got home and its 8

i went to the so wrong church

thot it was at trinity........behind the eaton centre

sorry- someone ffrom sketch needed directions too , so i gave him my copy and got lost

can I come to the next one?-hoping so

aand ive a story for you...

at the church-trinity- st.pauls thot it was...

there is a homeless memorial there, for those who passed away on the streets to be remembered...and people gather there monthly to commemorate..

there was a small woman all folded up in front of it sitting on blankets with a cup but she didnt seem to be panning...so i asked her if she smoked and if she wanted one, she took it and asked for a light and we made the joke of "now you gonna smoke it for me?" and then she cried a bit saying she'd been celebrating Julian's birthday, he had died in the spring two years ago...and how it felt shorter than that...

she talked about how he said he'd never leave and said she'd like to go too...and talked about how she missed him, and how she still hears his voice and feels like he's right here...i said you never know...

and we hugged and she showed me the bracelets she makes, her sparkly Jewels and even gave me two....which i tried to refuse cause i had no money...tho somehow i found a dollar to give her..but told her they were worth way more, then she said she liked my scarf...a pashmina from my sister in law from India...which i gave to her...the green was a great color on her too...we hugged a bunch more and i said i hope id get to see her again someday so i could make a better trade for the bracelets and that i hoped she kept making sparkly jewellery...

we introduced ourselves...cecelia and me, i dont know if im spelling it right, but i bet thats ok...she said she was gonna stay there all night and celebrate Julian's birthday...and i think she did

sparkly Jules...thats what i think she was saying...

her friend Brad finally came and i went away...being disappointed i missed your circle but so in awe of the beauty within us...

cecelia is beautiful

be well hazel....

sue

wash your hands after riding

I was riding the bus yesterday and I was surrounded by the insane, the sick, and the smelly. It was the smell of neglect and hospitals. I wanted to get off the bus but I didn't. I stayed and I listened. And this is what I heard....
"If only they listened to our story then things would be different. We might get the funding."
"I feel like I am on a tread mill, I get no where because I am always scurrying after money."
"I am busy and broke. It's a vicious cycle."
"I am not being heard. Pay attention to me. I'm being stalked."

...this woman was wearing black patent stiletto knee high boots and holding a massive teddy bear...she was young and attractive...she told me to keep my hands to myself after I brushed her with my mittens. She then proceed to fall on me three times as the street car stopped and started. I think she may have wanted our attention. She happened to get off at the same stop at bay and queen. We were then both waiting for the Bay street bus. She gave off a very unbalanced energy...I kept my distance. We got on the bus and rode north. I heard her talking to herself at the back of the bus. She moved to the front telling the bus and the bus driver that she was being stalked by three people on the bus. She announced that she would be getting off at 777 college street. That was my stop too! Was I one of her stalkers? I hoped she didn't notice. I could imagine her taking it the wrong way.

"I can't keep up with the pace"

"I'm burning up."
"I don't feel like me."
"There are so many untold stories."

I was not only affected by the words and voices of the people on the bus.
Blank stares, wide eyed despair, and the smell of human sweat overpowered my senses and filled my dreams.

I woke up to voices in my dreams saying over and over again, "My needs aren't being met."
It wasn't my voice. It was our collective voices. A sound track to a movie on a loop.
And I was reminded that we are one.
Those people on the bus are me and I am them.
True love is seeing myself in others.

We are all hungry to be heard, acknowledged, accepted, and gently touched.
I exist and I have needs.

This reinforces the importance of sitting in circle together.
A Spoonful of Honey Storytelling Art Project.
Is a breath of fresh air.
I am constantly being impressed and inspired by the simplicity and power of sitting in a circle.
Next comes the drum.
Next come the stories.
Next come the connections between people with vastly different origins.
Next comes the art, the action, the energy, the solidarity, the creative human energy, the community.

My tone is serious because I am serious about humour, self expression, and the acknowledgment of my brothers and sisters and our story.